Shane stayed home today because school lets out at noon and the buses wont be. He Claimed he is staying home so I wouldn’t have to walk outside in the wind/breeze and risk damaging my eye further.
Me: Shane can you please go get the furry ones some food from the store please?
Shane: Can’t you do it?? I’m killing these zombies.
Me: Really??
Shane: Well someone needs to keep the world safe, it might as well be me.
Me: Remember the reason you stayed home today??
Shane: Ohhhhhhhh…… Crap….
It has been a hot minute since I blogged any of the charming things my dear sweet *chokes* son says. However I think I may need to start reposting from time to time, whenever he spits out something trying /facepalm or chuckle worthy.
Now even though I did post this on my facebook page it was rather amusing and I feel it should be posted here too.
Me: so you call yourself elite at this game right??
Shane: yep, cos i am.
Me: so that means you have done the entire thing on legendary, right??
Shane: no, but i could. I did it all on normal, the problem with legendary is you can get one shotted.
Me: so you really arent elite then because you dont play anything but normal.
Shane: i am too, it says so in my tag
Me: /mimics shooting self in head.
Shane: I found out we are going to have optional talks next year about puberty n stuff. Me: AWESOME Shane: No NOT awesome I do NOT want to go to it. Me: Why not? I think it would be useful for you and less embarassing than me talking to you about it. Shane: I do NOT need to learn about sex!!! Me: Why the hell not. Shane: I will NEVER EVER have sex…. EVER Me: *falls down on floor laughing*
I know it has been a LONG time since I posted anything new but life has been hectic and Shane has been saying nothing that funny til tonight.
*watching a charmed episode with a party scene with a 40′s theme* Shane: “So mum, did they get the 40′s theme right?” Me: “Pardon?” Shane: “Well I figure you were alive in the 40′s so you should know if they made it look authentic or not.” Me: *nothing*
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After trying on the evening dress I will be wearing to a black tie event this Friday night I got Shane to help me accessorize it. He picked out some simple, elegant looking pieces and I put them on to see how they worked with the outfit. He made me turn around and made sure I looked good then said to me “I would be dignified to be seen out with you dressed so classy and if someone falls in love with you I wouldn’t blame them.”
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Shane: “My friends all call me ‘LOL Smiley Face” Me: “Why?” Shane: “They don’t really but they should.”
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After sniffing my skin because it smelt like vanilla; Shane: “I have now smelled all the good smell off you and transferred it to me, you must now smell my armpits………. they smell like kittens.” Me: “Your armpits smell like kittens?? HOW is that even possible?? I mean REALLY now………. kittens??” Shane: “Yes, kittens. Now SMELL my armpits woman!!!!!” Me: *laughing so hard can’t breathe* “I’m not smelling your armpits Shane. They so do not smell like kittens!!” Shane: “Yes they do!!!!!!!! SMELL!!” *armpit jammed into my face* Me: “Your armpit does NOT smell like kittens AND you broke my glasses!!” Shane: “Sorry about your glasses but at least I made you smell me.” *Shane laughs hysterically*
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Shane smashed his shin on my bed after he changed dvd. He sits down on the bed, pulls the leg of his pants up and…………. kisses himself better.
Me: “Did you just kiss yourself better??” Shane: “Uhm……… No!?!? I licked it?” Me: “You did not!! You kissed yourself better! I saw you do it!” Shane: “Nah ah………… Oh look!!!! The movie is starting.” Me: *laughs so hard I start choking*
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Shane: “So if I’m 10 and Santana is 20 that means when I turn 15 she will be 30.” Me: “She is gonna hurt you for that added to the fact that you obviously SUCK at math.” Shane: “Nah ah!!! If she is double my age then she’ll be 30.” Me: “Shane……. You just turned 10, she just turned 20, you turn 15 in five years and Santana will be 25.” Shane: “Oh…….. yeah.” Me: “I pay for your education……….”
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Shane is playing Mario Kart and he does a jump which he turned into a flip.
Shane: “I’m flipping awesome!!! ……………. Literally.”
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